Bisexual Bonobo Birthday Party

by Snowfatale

Gender: F
Age: 30′s
Race/ethnicity: Multiracial
Location: New York
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Self-employed
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before: None

Bisexual Bonobo Birthday Party

How long ago did this hookup happen? March 2014

How would you best classify this hookup? Birthday party

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I got a message from a guy, let’s call him T on OkCupid just complimenting my profile and praising me for being poly. Saw his profile and saw that he was bi himself, which I was excited about just because openly bi men are rare and I’ve been a little tired from dealing with hetero male hangups recently so I replied and asked him when we should meet. Then he replies with, “Well, now that you mention it…” and says that it was his birthday on Saturday and it was his fantasy to have a 3 man, 3 woman all-bi party but they only have two women so far. So after thinking it over I said I was interested then the topic shifted to e-mail and everyone else who was coming said hi and everyone was really nice. I met T the next afternoon and he was great, so I said yes.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? So I arrived at T and his (male) partner M’s place on Saturday night, having had to leave my bf J’s birthday party to come, but he was okay with that since his partner was there to keep him company. It’s an amazing 3-story townhouse, and the whole evening was super-well-planned. We had cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, then proceeded to the second floor where we shed our outer garments and talked in our underclothes. I met the other two women, N and D, and the other guy O, all of whom were lovely.

Then we moved up to the third floor where, lit only by a candle, we undressed each other then slowly explored connections between us and each other’s bodies. Then after that happened M (who was in charge of the evening) turned on the lights to reveal various beautiful light elements: red spiral light fixtures, a light sculpture, etc.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started having sex in various configurations, and I found myself really stunned by the beauty of every kind of interaction. There’s a history of addiction in my family so I haven’t done much drugs, but when M offered everyone some e, it felt right so I took a pill. Shortly afterward I went downstairs to use the bathroom and I think M followed me to make sure I was ok. On the way back from the bathroom I ran into M in the kitchen as he was checking in on me so we talked and made out a little bit. Then I sat on the counter and had the idea to squeeze some lime juice inside me, which he proceeded to suck off. I guess that was when I was first aware that I was in an altered state.

Then I receded for a bit when I felt a certain loss of control from the high, and O came over and lay next to me as the others continued to play. I told him about my fears and he just listened and said that whatever I felt like doing was fine, and I needed to always check in with myself. Some of the others also came over to check in on me, and that was nice.

The rest of the party I was mainly a witness to new experiences I had never seen: fisting, flogging, men being topped to name the three that immediately come to mind. I discovered I liked getting my toes sucked, and when a chocolate cake came out, that I liked the feeling of icing being licked from my body. I also loved seeing M and T alternately kissing each other and jointly going down on me. We all kept going until there we could see light outside, and I found myself still having energy, so T and I ended up being together sleeping and having sex for most of the early morning until around noon, while M and D (who is M’s long-term gf as it turns out) did the same on the bed next to us. T thanked me and said that it was the best birthday he could have hoped for.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used condoms but did not discuss STI history.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was really attracted to the idea of an all-bisexual party so I went for it.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? I personally had E and a tiny bit of alcohol. Other people there also smoked pot.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt amazing about it. I’ve since had dinner with T, the guy who originally invited me, which was awesome. And I’ll be hanging out with him and his partner M soon, which I’m very much looking forward to.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to my sister and several friends about it, all of whom thought it was great. I’m poly and also talked to my boyfriend about it, who lamented that he alas is mostly straight and couldn’t join me for future encounters with the group.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Both.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Absolutely not.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was the experience of freedom. The worst? I can’t really think of what the worst would be right now.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What did you think about this story? Tell us in the comments!

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About DrZhana (307 Posts)

Dr Zhana is the creator of The Casual Sex Project. She is also a NYC-based sex researcher, educator, and writer. She holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Cornell University, and studies casual sex, nonmonogamy, and sexual orientation. She teaches Human Sexuality and Research Methods at NYU, blogs for Psychology Today, and tweets obsessively about new sex research.


DrZhana

Dr Zhana is the creator of The Casual Sex Project. She is also a NYC-based sex researcher, educator, and writer. She holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Cornell University, and studies casual sex, nonmonogamy, and sexual orientation. She teaches Human Sexuality and Research Methods at NYU, blogs for Psychology Today, and tweets obsessively about new sex research.

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